Birthdays present a special challenge in military families. For starters, parents and children may be separated—and that’s particularly hard on such a big day— or the family might have moved recently. Coming up with a fun and meaningful way to celebrate is important. In military families, where so many things often change, traditions can be especially comforting. They strengthen family bonds by creating a shared history and heritage. Birthdays are the perfect time to honor old traditions and create new ones. Here are some tradition ideas for birthday celebrations—but the most fun is coming up with your own:

• Anticipation is as much fun as celebration! Build up the excitement with a birthday countdown the week before the special day. To create anticipation, a parent or guardian might label a small envelope or box with a number (1 through 7), and give one to the birthday child each morning before their birthday. Place a little something special, such as a birthday cake coupon or a birthday book borrowed from the library inside each envelope or box.
• Honor the passing of the year. At bedtime the night before the big day, say, “Good night, three-year-old.” Then wake the birthday child up the next day with, “Good morning, four-year-old.” Overnight you might quietly decorate your children’s room by taping crepe-paper ribbons and balloons on the bedroom door, for example, or prepare a special birthday breakfast.
• At the time of your child’s birth (say, noon), sit down and tell the story of the day they were born. Was it a sunny or snowy day? What did Baby look like at the very beginning? Who were the first visitors? If you have a baby book, this is the time to get it out.
• Talk about family birthday traditions. Are there special birthday-cake flavors or birthday-meal foods that are prepared year after year? Is there a favorite family birthday song or dance? If not, now’s a good time to choose one!
• A birthday can be a “happy favorites day” too. Each year, ask the birthday child to tell you: favorite food, favorite color, favorite book, favorite hobby, and so on. Record it in a little notebook. Now your children have an easy way to can see the way favorites might change year to year.

It’s possible in military families for a parent or parents to be away from home when a birthday comes around. Celebrating special occasions during deployment or temporary duty can be hard for both children and parents. However, with a little advanced organizing, parents can make sure that they are still a part of the celebration and a part of surrounding birthday children with love:

Beforehand

• If there’s time before you go, record a birthday message or write a letter to be opened on the child’s birthday. You may want to share a favorite memory, express your pride at something your children have learned this year, or talk about your wishes for the new birthday year.
• Do a “Flat Mommy” or “Flat Daddy” project together. Have the parent who will be away on the big day lie down on a big piece of cardboard. Kids can trace around the parent’s body to make Flat Mommy/Daddy. Help children draw in features, such as clothing, hair, and so on. If you want, use a photo for the face. The Flat Mommy/Daddy can join in all family celebrations. (Alternatively, take a full-body photo and have it made into a large cardboard-backed image at a camera store—but this is a more expensive option.)
• Choose a special spot inside your home. Encourage your children to go to that place before going to sleep on the big day, and, with eyes closed, remember that you are sending a big birthday hug and kiss. Feel the love!

On the Day

• Arrange a time, if possible, for a video chat with your children. You may not want to share the details in advance, as things can come up at the last minute for the deployed parent. If a video chat happens, it will be a lovely surprise. Here’s another idea: Military families move often and must sometimes leave friends behind, so you can set up the same kind of video chat with old friends for children celebrating their birthday.
• Prepare a special treat for birthday children. Invite others to prepare a treat for themselves–perhaps even share the same recipe in advance, such as a snack, lunch, dinner, or dessert. Now everyone can eat “together” as you video chat.
• Let everyone count the candles together and blow them out, virtually.
• Find a game that everyone can do together online, such as creating a picture, word games, or charades. Decorate cupcakes together. Or make a birthday story: Each online “guest” can take a turn (with a grown-up’s help, if needed) adding a few sentences. When it’s finished, everyone gets a copy.

Children don’t need flashy parties to make lasting memories! If you’ve recently moved, or are getting used to big changes, sometimes an intimate family party is best. Add a special friend or two, if desired.

Here are some easy, no-fuss, all-fun ideas for celebrating simply:

• Watch a favorite movie at home, with movie snacks.
• Host a picnic in the park. Park scavenger hunts are always fun.
• Play traditional games. There’s a reason these games have been around for so long. They are fun to play! Play “Duck, Duck, Goose,” “Simon Says,” “Musical Chairs” (or pillows), “Hot Potato,” or “Freeze Dance” (known sometimes as “Statues”). You can change up the games to fit the interests of the child celebrating their birthday. For example, “Duck, Duck, Goose” might turn into “Pizza, Pizza, Cupcake,” “Simon Says” can be “Cookie Monster Says,” and the “Hot Potato” can be a favorite stuffed toy.
• Have the guests decorate their own goody bags with crayons, stickers, and glitter – or cover the party table with a plain paper tablecloth or butcher paper and let everyone draw on it with markers, colored pencils, and crayons.
• Let everyone decorate their own food. Kids can each get their own ball of (store-bought) pizza dough that they can customize with a choice of toppings. They can can also decorate their own cupcakes or ice cream sundaes.
• Costumes and props are always fun. Collect hats, boas, sunglasses, costume jewelry, bowties, fake mustaches, and anything else that will appeal to kids’ imagination. Put on some music and watch the magic happen.
• Party favors can include printables, such as coloring pages and easy activities—like the ones created by Sesame Street for Military Families.
• Take lots of photos. Pictures make it easy to remember special days, and share it with those who can’t be there.

Military families move a lot! Your children may be celebrating a birthday after one of these moves—and that isn’t always easy. Here are some unique birthday celebration ideas for a special welcome-to-town birthday scavenger hunt to help make your new town feel like home:

• Start in the birthday bedroom.  Stand your children against the bedroom door and make a mark to measure the year’s growth, and to measure future birthdays against. Now put a birthday hat or birthday crown on the lucky birthday children.
• Visit the local library. Sign up for a library card if you haven’t already. Ask for the librarian’s help in finding a book about birthdays to check out.
• Find the firehouse. Usually,  firefighters are very receptive to visits from neighborhood kids. Introduce the birthday children—maybe they’ll be invited to try on a fire hat!
• Go to the market. Make a game of finding items needed for the birthday child’s dinner.
• Locate the town bakery. The birthday kids can choose a cake or cupcake to bring home.
• Ask your children’s new teachers or day care center to recognize the birthday. It will make create a feeling of belonging. And be sure to leave time for phone calls, Skype, or Facetime for folks who live farther away: grandparents, cousins, old friends. Out of town doesn’t have to mean out of touch!