Sesame Street for Military Families

A military dad hugging his baby.

Deployments

When a parent is called to be deployed, the whole family has to adjust. By knowing how to prepare for being deployed again—planning in advance, communicating openly, and creating new routines—you can help your family handle the stresses of separation, however short or long it will be.

Before watching the video, talk to children about what deployment means. In this video, Elmo shares what he does to get ready for his dad’s deployment. You can explain that Mommy or Daddy is going away to do important work for their job, but before they go, we can spend time together doing activities we enjoy.

Choose and plan a day (or if there’s time, multiple days!) to enjoy time engaging in some favorite activities together. Consider cooking and eating meals, spending time outside, or a movie night. Take pictures (or have children draw some) so they can look back on them later. You might make a recording of the parent who is deploying reading a bedtime story or favorite book for children to listen to while they are away.

When a parent is deployed, children may have a difficult time knowing how to connect with them. In this video, we see how Elmo talks with his dad—and what they talk about—while he’s away. Reassure children that there are lots of ways to share love, even from afar.

Together with children, talk about some of the things they want to share with the parent who’s deployed. You might want to put together a journal with pictures, drawings, stories, or songs that the child can share when you do connect. You might even put together a slideshow!

In this episode, Elmo’s daddy goes through the full process of deployment: pre-deployment, deployment, and returning home. Before watching, explain that their parent is going away for a while, just like Elmo’s daddy. You may show the children the place on a map where the parent is going, and remind them that friends and family will still be here to offer support and love.

Talk to children about their thoughts and feelings about the video. Do they have any questions? If they’re having a hard time expressing their thoughts or questions, try drawing a picture together. They may need some time to process, and that’s OK too.

In this video, Elmo and his family and friends sing a song to help remind kids that no matter what else changes, there are people who care for them. You may point out to children all the people who join together to care for and support Elmo.

Help children think about all the people in their circle of care (friends, extended family, teachers, and community members). Then, write the names on strips paper, fold them in a circle, and tape them together to create a paper chain. Hang the paper chain in a window or somewhere children can see and remember all the people that are there for them.

Military life, with its many ups and downs, can be hard on kids, but there are ways to let them know you’re proud of them. In this video, Louie sings to Elmo about all the things about him that make him feel proud. Explain what being “proud” means and reassure them that you are proud of them just like Elmo’s dad.

Tell children what makes you feel proud of them (learning or trying something new, or being strong and brave during difficult times). You may try making a “You Make Me Proud” jar with notes inside that children can read when they need a boost of confidence. They might want to make one for the grown-ups too!

In this video, you will hear different parents talking about their feelings during a deployment and how they coped. Notice some strategies parents used to help ease some of their challenges.

Where there things you already do? What ideas would you like to try? You might reach out to other military parents in your support network to talk about these and other ideas they might have. Remember to take care of yourself.

Videos

Video: Dear Elmo: Getting Ready

Downloadable PDFs

 
  • link to download the PDF: Every Day, Every Night
    Every Day, Every Night
  • link to download the PDF: Faces and Feelings
    Faces and Feelings
  • link to download the PDF: Family Puzzle
    Family Puzzle
  • link to download the PDF: TLC Magazine for Parents
    TLC Magazine for Parents
 

Tips

  • Pre-Deployments

    Advance planning, communication, and reassurance go a long way.

    Pre-Deployments

    Advance planning and open communication, along with a big dose of reassurance, can help everyone get through the difficult time leading up to a service member’s departure. Here are some ideas to get you started:

    How to plan and prepare together for being deployed again

    • Let the important people in your family’s life, especially those involved in your children’s care, know that a parent will be leaving. Establish a support network you can count on for help whenever it’s needed. (It’s okay to seek counseling if you feel overwhelmed–you can even do so anonymously if you prefer.)
    • Help older children build their own extended support systems, which might include school counselors, teachers, and trusted peers.
    • Talk to your children about being deployed again. Encourage questions. Without discussing how to get through the experience, children may imagine the worst. Young children may even fret about their parent’s basic needs being met. To the fullest extent possible, describe what the deployed mom or dad’s everyday life will be like–”Here’s what I’ll be doing.” “This is what I’ll be eating.” And so on. No matter the age of the  child, it’s helpful to give a reminder that the parent who is going to serve is highly trained. Say: “Your mom/dad knows how to do her/his job well, and s/he’s not alone. S/he’s working with others who also do their jobs well.”

    Be aware of different reactions from your children

    • If you have more than one child, don’t be surprised if each reacts differently to the upcoming assignment. The Faces and Feelings printable can help younger children understand their feelings better about dealing with a parent being deployed again. Remind older children that they should share their worries and concerns, too.

    Keep family connections strong

    • Assure your children that regular family activities such as bedtime stories, game nights, or family dinners will continue.
    • Create a “thinking of you” item, like a “hug-me” pillow. Stuff one of the deploying parent’s t-shirts and sew it closed. When the need arises, the pillow is just right for wrapping the child in a hug!
    • As a family, complete the Family Puzzle printable. To make the pieces of the puzzle sturdier, you can laminate individual pieces or glue the sheet to cardstock before cutting the pieces out.
    Next: What to Do During a Military Deployment
  • What to Do During a Military Deployment

    Establish deployment routines to help your family ease into their new roles.

    What to Do During a Military Deployment

    Many things will change once a parent has been deployed. You’ll find yourself creating new routines and adjusting old ones to fit new circumstances. But in time–and with patience–your family will adjust, and take pride in doing so.

    Stick to routines

    • Routines will help your children feel secure. Use the Every Day, Every Night printable as a way of talking about routines with younger children.
    • As time goes on and your children begin to feel more comfortable, establish new family routines together. For instance, make Thursdays “Breakfast for Dinner” days, spend every Saturday afternoon at the park together, or set aside Sunday nights for writing letters to loved ones far away.
    • Older children can give younger ones comfort and be terrific role models. Let older children know that they’re an important part of the team, and encourage them to help out. But make sure to let them be kids, too!
    • Take care of yourself by including physical activity in your routines: a family walk, a game of tag, or dancing to your favorite tunes. Also, be sure to prepare healthy meals and get plenty of sleep. By keeping yourself physically fit, you’ll keep yourself emotionally fit as well.
    • Use the We Can Do It printable to keep track of your family routines and individual responsibilities.

    Keep connected to the deployed parent

    • Reassure your children by keeping connected to the deployed parent with e-mails and phone calls. On temporary duty, it’s usually easier to stay in touch–take advantage of this and communicate frequently. Choose bonding activities that you can do virtually–like reading bedtime stories together or singing songs.
    • Create a special ritual that the family and the deployed parent can both share while away from each other. For instance, little ones and the deployed mom or dad can look up at the sky each night as a reminder that they are underneath the same moon and stars. An older child and his/her parent might choose a word or phrase that will be their secret message–when they hear or say it, they’ll think of each other.

    Leave the homecoming date open-ended

    • Your children might ask, “When is Dad/Mom coming home?” or “Why can’t s/he come home now?” When answering these questions, leave the homecoming date as open-ended as possible while giving your children something hopeful to hang on to: “I/Dad/Mom will be home as soon as my/his/her job is finished. I/He/She love(s) us all very much and can’t wait to be together again.”
    • Help your children keep track of the days the parent is away. For example, start a paper chain and add a colorful link each day, to be presented to him/her or used as a decoration at homecomings. Perhaps even write a word or two on each link about the parent who’s away: “kind,” “soccer champ,” “gives the best hugs,” etc.
    • Put some change in a jar for each day apart. When the parent returns, your children can use the money to buy something special for him/her or for the family to enjoy together.
    • Get a big roll of butcher paper and make a mural. Add to it every few days or once a week around the theme of “Things We Love to Do Together” (or Thing’s We’re Looking Forward to Doing Together When Everyone is Home Again”).
    • Hang a map to show where the parent is working for now. Hang two clocks up to show the time difference between where that parent is and where the children are.
    Next: Additional Resources
  • Additional Resources

    Helpful links related to Deployments